Science Finally Dumbed Down Enough to Matter

Football enthusiast, apparently

In an interview with BBC Breakfast this morning, celebrated particle physicist Prof. Brian Cox and his colleague Jeff Forshaw were hammered with inane questions regarding quantum physics until they finally broke down and described science in the most mundane terms imaginable.

Game Over?

Scorchio? Not in the UK!

"Game over man, game over! Summer is spiralling away and I've only used the barbecue once so far!", said William Paxton earlier. And I can understand his concern - the summer solstice is over and the longest day of 2012 has passed us by. We've only had one really nice day so far.

So what is happening to our weather? Is this the beginning of the so called 'End of Times'? Are we heading for Armageddon? Who knows, but recently news broke that the 'End of the World' date had been cancelled, so that seems very positive and good news.

Thank you, Mr Carr!

Jimmy Carr doing what he does best ... 
certainly not his tax return!

Award-winning comedian Jimmy Carr made a statement on his Twitter account saying he "made a terrible error of judgement" and is no longer involved in the K2 tax shelter. Jimmy also confided that "people expect me to 'make light' of the situation, but I'm not going to in this statement". Whether he will make light of this issue in his 'usually-funny' act is another matter, and we at NMNB (usually pronounced 'num-nub') certainly hope he feels free to do so once this terribly-debilitating issue has blown over. He is, after all one of the UK's top (and highly-paid!) comedians.

Crisis as 'Good News' Blog Falls Out of Favour

Panic on the streets of London

It began life as a feel-good news site, reporting only the happy occurrences from around the world and leaving the doom and gloom to more established broadcasters. Early examples included a story about former Beatle Sir Paul McCartney's 70th birthday and another about gorillas using 'baby talk' sign language with their infants.

However, the mood at No More News Blues (num-nub for short) quickly turned sour as previously good-natured reports became bitter, sarcastic jibes chiefly about the weather.

Florida Youth is OK After Spear through the Head

Good news as Yasser survives

A 16-year-old youth is recovering well in a Florida hospital after being shot through the head with a fishing harpoon!

While fishing with a friend, the weapon accidentally went off and shot Yasser Lopez, entering above his right eye, penetrating his brain and exiting through the back of his scull, as can be seen from the X-Ray. 

Yasser was awake as he was airlifted and taken to a Miami hospital for surgery.

Summer Takes Nation by Surprise

'Unbelievable'

As Earth continues its seemingly endless journey around the sun for the umpteenth time, the northern hemisphere enjoys a temperate season of longer days and shorter nights, with the occasional thunderstorm thrown in for good measure.  


The season is expected to continue much in the same way, as it has since the spring equinox, until the summer solstice, when experts predict the days will then shorten and the nights will lengthen.

Trip to the Moon - only £100m

Want to go to the moon? Got £100m to spare? Then you're in luck!

Soviet-era Soyuz FG rocket recently bought second hand

An Isle of Man firm has bought four second-hand space capsules and two disused space stations from the Russians and is offering members of the public a chance to go to them moon ... well very close to the moon anyway. Budding space travellers with the readies will have an opportunity to orbit the moon.

The space equipment, which dates back to the Soviet era, is currently undergoing a re-fit with the latest electronics and software at the Exhalibur Almaz site in the Isle of Man.

NuMNuB Celebrates Its First Non-Editorial Follower

Today we gained our first follower who is not on the payroll.  Granted, Mr Norman Bain is a colleague, but he was under no obligation to follow this blog after being given ample opportunity to peruse the drivel within. Thanks for humouring us, Norman!

Loud, Scary Thunder over Aberdeen

Not war

There are reports of loud rumbling and crashing noises in the sky over Aberdeen this afternoon, sometimes preceded by flashes of lightning and often followed by heavy downpour. Town elders pronounce this terrifying phenomenon to be thunder, a common climatic occurrence at this time of year.

Sighs of relief could be (figuratively) heard across the coastal city when it became clear this wasn't the onset of another German invasion.  This marks the 73rd consecutive year free of German invasion in Europe.  Celebrations are scheduled to begin this evening.

Duran Duran Feared 30-Year Career Was Over ... but it's not!

The key players: Duran Duran recently

Singer Simon Le Bon was 'howling' like a wolf rather than Hungry Like a Wolf recently!

Megagroup Duran Duran were distraught when the acclaimed lead vocalist lost his voice during their recent tour. Drummer Roger Taylor (yes that's right, there's an identically-named drummer with Queen!) is quoted as saying, "It was a pretty scary moment for the band because he's the one guy you can't replace", but we think otherwise - Duran Duran wouldn't be Duran Duran without any of the key players - don't put yourself down, Roger!

Gorilla Mums Use 'Baby Talk'

Lady with Baby Gorilla

The BBC reports today that gorilla mothers use a special type of 'baby talk' when communicating with their infants.  Analysing hours of video footage, a team of scientists found that parents augmented their wide repertoire of communication gestures with repetition and increased tactility when talking to young gorillas.  

A video on the BBC website shows a mother repeatedly laying her hand on her child's head, in a bid to tell her infant to "stop it", researchers say.  It is thought that these observations may give us insight into how human language developed.

Source: BBC News

Microsoft unveils Surface Windows 8 tablets

The New Microsoft Surface Tablet

Now this is very good news!

The Apple iPad has been a huge success and has been followed by Android tablet devices that allow you to complete a multitude of tasks, but compatibility with Microsoft Office documents has always been a problem for me. I create or edit a document using Pages (Apple) or another third party office application, carefully making sure it looks the business. Then when I open the document on my Windows

Paul McCartney Turns 70

Sir Paul

Former 'Fab Four' favourite Sir Paul McCartney was born on the 18th of June 1942 and today celebrates his 70th birthday.  Some news sites might jump at the chance to inform us that Sir Paul is another year older and as such is one step closer to death, but here at NMNB (pronounced num-nub) we prefer to look on the bright side as we think back on his illustrious career as an entertainer and animal rights activist.

Happy 70th, Sir Paul!  May you have many more.

Good News, Everyone!

Professor Farnsworth

If you're tired of the barrage of doom and gloom offered up daily by the leading news networks, you've come to the right place.  Our news coverage is the perfect antidote to the news blues: we only report stories that make you smile and give you that warm, fuzzy feeling inside.  If you have any happy stories to share, please send them in to see them on our front page!