Science Finally Dumbed Down Enough to Matter

Football enthusiast, apparently

In an interview with BBC Breakfast this morning, celebrated particle physicist Prof. Brian Cox and his colleague Jeff Forshaw were hammered with inane questions regarding quantum physics until they finally broke down and described science in the most mundane terms imaginable.

"As an example of quantum physics," enthused the one-time pop star, "we now know that all the particles that make up your finger, although your finger may seem solid and to remain in roughly the same place, we know that all those particles are also off exploring the universe-"

"Huh?" interrupted glassy-eyed Breakfast presenter Charlie Stayt.

"Well, each particle in the universe is known to exist in two places at once," continued the scientist, as co-host Susunna Reid apeared dazzled by the light reflecting off her shoes. "In a demonstration of what we call wave-particle duality-"

"So when you looked at that Ronaldo goal we just showed, you must have been thinking, 'Woah, look at those particles!  Look at the physics happening in that goal!'" blurted Stayt to his nonplussed guests.

"Did you know the Euro 2012 football has, like, many sides, and that makes it spin?" chimed Reid. "That makes it spin.  That's physics, isn't it?"

Looking defeated, Cox and Forshaw admitted that football, along with everything else, was in fact governed by the laws of physics. Cheers from the studio and chants of "Football! Football!" from the presenters drowned out all further discussion by the physicists.